We're not against e-bikes. We're against STUPIDITY.

Run the physics once. A kid plus an e-moto at 40 mph carries about twenty times the crash energy of the same kid on his pedal bike at 12 mph.

Twenty times. That's the difference your “literally” is trying to paper over.

So sure, it might as well be a golf cart. Except the golf cart is slower, and you would absolutely stop the ten-year-old driving the golf cart.

A bicycle is a toy a kid powers with his body. This is a motor vehicle a kid merely points. They are not the same thing, and everyone typing otherwise knows it.

Think this is a Liverpool quirk? Watch what a Los Angeles news station put on air.

Teenagers rode their e-motos and e-bikes through a Walmart. Through the aisles. Past shoppers who had nowhere to go.

And the consequences? You already know. None.

So no, the machine was never the whole story. The machine is just the delivery vehicle.

The cargo is the attitude: rules are for other people, and nobody will do anything.

They're not wrong about the second part. Yet.

Every time nothing happens, the lesson gets louder. A kid who learns at 14 that no rule can reach him doesn't unlearn it at 18 behind the wheel of a car.

That's why this petition doesn't target hardware. It targets the consequences vacuum: enforcement, impound, parental accountability.

Still think it's aisles and parking lots? Here's a pack of them on Interstate 4 in Orlando, cutting off cars at highway speed.

A literal interstate. The place where a fender-bender is a funeral.

Here's a new one. A teen rider blew through a crosswalk signal on his e-bike and got hit by a car. On camera.

Guess who got charged. The rider. And the police chief went on the record saying he's sick of it.

That's tens of thousands of likes for accountability. Not from cranky neighbors. From everybody.

The riders and their parents think we're the villains here. The rest of the country is telling them otherwise.

And understand what this site actually is. It's local parenting, outsourced. The parents wouldn't set a boundary, so the neighborhood is setting one for them.

They hate us for it today. Fine. A boundary you hate is still a boundary. And it might be the only thing keeping their kid off a stretcher.

Before any official gets ideas: none of this is an argument for Flock readers or one more surveillance layer.

That's more societal fuckery, and it wouldn't even work.

Flock cameras scan license plates. These machines don't have any.

The flagship surveillance tool of American suburbia is blind to the one vehicle on our streets breaking the law daily.

Sit with that irony. Your plate gets scanned and logged every drive to work. Your Fourth Amendment gets chipped away one camera pole at a time.

And the kids with no plates, no registration, and no rules are the only ones the system can't touch.

We're not asking for more cameras pointed at everyone. We're asking for existing laws enforced against the people breaking them.

Every thread gets one. A neighbor who half-remembers one Supreme Court case and declares the whole petition illegal.

The case they're reaching for is Delaware v. Prouse (1979). It says police can't pull people over at random to fish for a license.

True. And nobody here is asking for that.

Keep reading the same opinion. The Court calls “acting upon observed violations” the foremost method of enforcing traffic law, and it blesses exactly that.

Whren v. United States (1996) finished the job: an officer who sees a violation can make the stop. New York's own top court said the same in People v. Robinson (2001).

Now look at the machine. No pedals. No plate. No registration. 40 miles an hour.

Under New York law that is not an e-bike. It's an unregistered motor vehicle that cannot legally touch a public road (VTL §§ 102-c, 401, 402). The missing helmet is its own violation (§ 381(6)).

Nobody has to card anybody. The machine itself is the violation, in plain view, every single ride.

And the age panic? Kansas v. Glover (2020) says a commonsense inference is all reasonable suspicion requires. A rider who looks twelve on a machine the law reserves for 16 and up (§ 1242(2)) is the same call as a sixth grader behind the wheel of a Corolla.

Checking ID during a lawful stop? Rodriguez v. United States (2015) calls that an ordinary inquiry. Routine. Constitutional. Boring.

Want to know what actually is a live Fourth Amendment fight? Scroll up one section.

Flock cameras log billions of plate scans a month with zero suspicion attached to any of them. Federal suits are running against Norfolk and San Jose right now, a Virginia judge threw out warrantless Flock evidence, and this June the Supreme Court tightened the screws on warrantless location dragnets in Chatrie v. United States.

So if the plate readers never cost you a minute of sleep, but a cop stopping a kid he just watched break six laws turns you into a constitutional scholar, it was never about the Constitution.

Stopping an observed violation is the most settled police action in American law. Fifty years of precedent. The petition asks for exactly that and nothing more.

We're the people who don't care if kids act up a little.

A kid sneaks a cigarette in the woods? Don't care. A couple of 15-year-olds crack a beer in the basement? None of our business.

Getting away with a little something is half the point of being a kid, and every one of us did it.

The line is old and it's simple: disturbing the fucking peace.

Your fun is your business right up until it puts the rest of us in danger. A toddler on a sidewalk becomes a near-miss. A grandmother times her walk around street racing.

That's when your fun became our business.